had e:1ª unique person ( I ) imperfect ( 1 ) subjuntivo3ª person singular ( he/she/you ) imperfect ( 1 ) subjuntivoen Psicologíasirve to express the frustration involved in not having obtained the expected results after having done that at the time we consider the most appropriate way. In other words, everything in our life involves decisions, just imagine how many shots a day.... I switch to the center lane or to the left, framework le to this person or more late, eat hamburger or salad.... etc, etc. Each of these decisions by small that are will have a result that we can qualify as good or bad. It is in this latter case, when it takes on special relevance " had ".... " if I would have switched to the left, this donkey would not hit me " " If had checked you immediately, it would have obtained the contract " " if he had eaten the salad, it would have better figure... " and a long list of etceteras. I honestly think we ourselves are our most implacable judges and we demand to be unconsciously perfect, and some tend to martirizar us thinking that this unpleasant situation that we are suffering could have been avoided with just move to another lane for example. Hence told so rightly put other people " the had there " which clearly indicates it has no felt self-flagellation with respect to a decision that we cannot change, but we must accept the consequences and do something with these consequences, i.e., on what if we still have control.I really liked your question ( noticed really...? lol ) and I hope to have contributed a bit. Best wishes!!!!